The Fallout
by Donavvin Nick
Summary: Jalec JaceXalec story. IDK, a lemon/shower fluff story. Oneshot. Jace breaks down after realizing Clary is his sister, and Alec helps him get through the pain.


** Hey. I dunno. I have no explanation, this just came up. How is everyone?**

**-Donavvin**

* * *

"It's not your fault," Jace muttered as the knife landed on-point in the stuffing of the pad across the room.

"I know," Alec said, quietly, but enough that Jace could hear him.

"But I keep punishing you." Another knife, landed next to the first. He must have only had two, because he went to pluck them from the wall and throw them again. Jace did that a lot when he was upset.

"I know," Alec repeated. Jace shook his head and threw the knife, harder this time, so it cut through the pad and slid down slightly.

"And you let me do it," he added, pitching the second knife with so much fury that it missed its target and made a sizeable crack in the wall. That was the final straw. Jace hit his knees and raked his long, pianist fingers through his hair, trying to hold it together. Failing completely.

Alec took one step foreword, then another, until he was able to kneel beside his brother, and pick him up. But Jace was heavy, not one to be carried or coddled, or even loved, if he felt like he didn't deserve it. So he thrashed and kicked and shouted until Alec let him go. And when he hit the floor again, and rolled over, he whined. A soft, desperate cry, like a kitten taken from its mother, and Alec realized that's what Jace was. Every part of him had been broken and beaten and for that maybe he was stronger, usually he was stronger. But loving his sister had been the breaking point.

He'd been okay when they'd gone to the diner. He said they were going to have lunch. And he came back looking the way he looked when he needed Alec. Like something had shattered in him. Alec wouldn't ask, he never did.

Isabelle appeared in the doorway, gasping; she probably had heard Jace's heaving sobs, like the rest of New York, and made her way over to Jace. But he reacted the way he always did. Again.

"GET OUT!" he half-snarled, half-screamed, sitting up. Isabelle fell back, shocked. "Just get the fuck out Izzy!" he sobbed. And she stuttered back, getting to her feet, running out and slamming the door to the training room. Alec sat by Jace, crossing his legs, putting his brother's blonde head in his lap. Alec ran his fingers through the golden curls and sighed.

"You don't have to yell at her. She only wants to help." Jace whimpered. "I want to help." Again Jace let out a soft mewl of discomfort. "You want to go upstairs now?" Like a child, unable to use his words, Jace nodded. Alec stood up with one swift movement, and Jace, who was usually the most graceful of the three, stumbled. Alec caught him and pulled him close. Jace took a tearful but reassured breath and detached himself from his parabatai. They fled the weapons room and rushed down the long hallway, back to Alec's room, and locked the door. Jace placed an expert locking rune on the door as Alec kicked his boots off, and undid his belt. He placed it on his nightstand, and somberly avoided his reflection. When he looked back, Jace had taken off his boots, his socks and his shirt, and stood shamed in front of him, runes glowing with intensity. Alec's own parabatai rune burned, a dull ache he refused to acknowledge. If runes could talk he was sure his own would rat him out to the Clave. For all the times Jace had been in pain, and Alec had been there.

Still, Alec couldn't find himself to be ashamed. He loved Jace, and he knew Jace loved him. Jace had helped him, saved his life plenty of times. Alec wasn't as skilled of a shadowhunter, but this was a way he could help.

Jace was staring at the ground. Alec discarded his sweater and took one long step to Jace, who glanced up. They locked eyes for a moment before Jace dug his forehead into Alec's neck and put his arms around Alec's back, sighing.

"Thank you," he breathed into Alec's neck, which in turn made Alec shiver. Without warning Jace pulled himself up and ground his hips into Alec's, making Alec step back a little. He could feel Jace's smirk, as well as his hard-on.

"Asshole," Alec muttered back, smiling. He reached under him, between their bodies, to undo Jace's belt, and Jace let him. He yanked the belt from its loops in one motion and felt a purr rumble through Jace, reminding Alec faintly of a lion. So much for the helpless, abandoned kitten theory. Jace took the lead, shoving Alec back onto the bed. He landed with a thud, and the springs protested.

At first, from the way things were going, it seemed like Jace wanted it rough. He was pushing and prodding and kissing and Alec wasn't sure where to go, so he let Jace lead. But Jace would change his mind every few minutes, purring and whimpering and gently nuzzling Alec like a cat. So Alec improvised. He gripped Jace's protruding shoulder blades and flipped them, so he was on top. His black hair hung in his eyes and Jace brushed it away. His bright eyes were shining up, the color of the lake in broad daylight, and he waited, innocent.

Except that he was almost naked. Almost. With that thought Alec rucked his training jeans off and threw them by the door, where Jace's white shirt lay in a crumpled heap.

"Alec I-"

"Shh," Alec muttered, working on the button of his own jeans, which was being temperamental. He got it undone and worked off his pants, kicking them over the edge of the bed. "Gentle," Alec promised, reaching out to touch Jace's cheek. It was soft, the softest skin Alec had ever known, and it had always been that way.

Sex wasn't perfect. It was awkward, but Alec figured that was how it was supposed to be. Even when Jace was so bone-deep sad, he still grinned occasionally, and made Alec's toes curl when he kissed _around_ the shaft, not on it.

"Asshole," Alec managed, panting, reaching around for Jace's hair, something to grab. Instead he was rewarded with Jace's hand.

"Gentle, remember?" Jace reminded him. "That's what you said." Alec rolled his eyes.

"I said gentle, not teasing," he muttered, knowing Jace would hear him, but shrugged it off. Gentle because the last time they had tried to do it rough, Jace had whimpered and cried and flinched like he was going to be slapped. Because Jace had been badly abused and Alec had forgotten, but it wouldn't happen again.

Jace's hand trailed up Alec's length as he positioned himself back on top of Alec, grinning angelically. But then the smile faded and he relaxed, resting his whole body on top of Alec. Their cheeks brushed and Jace purred again.

"You're always so good to me. Better than I deserve." Alec wanted to shake his head, but he didn't want to break the way their cheeks were touching.

"Not true," was all he could manage. But Jace wouldn't listen. He never did.

* * *

The sex was, as Alec promised, slow and gentle. With each movement Alec wanted to scream, but he stayed grounded because Jace would turn away, close his eyes, look at something else.

"Look at me," Alec finally mustered. He stopped moving and Jace winced, letting out a soft moan. But the blonde boy did as he was told. "You deserve to enjoy this. Don't make yourself suffer. It's called making love," Alec breathed, feeling the cheesiness of his words, "and I love you." Jace smirked, and Alec wondered if he would be called on his dialogue, but instead Jace reached up and cupped his neck and nodded.

"Yeah. I love you too," he seemed to decide. With that Alec sharply bucked his hips foreword, and Jace's eyes rolled back a little as he yelped in pleasure and surprise. "Again," he muttered, brows furrowing, and Alec laughed. So he did it again.

In that rhythm, Jace stopped mewling and started growling, becoming a lion again. In the middle of sex, Jace reminded him of a lion. Sweating, golden curls clinging to his neck and forehead, chest heaving to catch his breath. Alec was sure it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. He reached around again and pulled Jace up with him, so Jace was sitting on his lap, and rocked up and down, making his parabatai yelp in surprise again.

"God," he whispered, clinging to Alec like it was certain death, should he let go. "You're so beautiful." If his body had been connected to his mind, Alec would have stopped thrusting at that. Jace had never called him beautiful before, and he was sure he wasn't, not sweaty, with sex hair, and the needy noises he made after Jace's tongue would leave his mouth. But he let himself believe it anyway. Not long after that, Jace came all over Alec's stomach. When he'd perked up, he finally gave Alec that blow job, and then Alec decided they were both appropriately covered in each other's semen, which was disgusting, in retrospect.

But there was nothing about the light in Jace's eyes, or the redness of his face, that was disgusting to Alec. Jace climbed off the bed, grabbing the post for his shaking knees, and took Alec's wrist to the shower.

Jace's knees were wobbly enough that Alec suspected he hadn't eaten in a while, so he held Jace up in the shower. And in return Alec was allowed to kiss Jace as much as he wanted, which was not part of the usual routine. When they stepped out, and Jace's balance and returned, Alec figured it was time to say goodbye, even though he desperately wanted to cuddle. He knew, despite everything, he would not get that luxury, and trotted off to his bed to sulk. Jace dressed and waited. Alec shivered, still missing a shirt, and sighed. He knew he looked pathetic, and he felt pathetic.

"What's wrong?" Jace wondered, taking one step, then another.

Alec looked him dead in the eyes. Again, without the smell of sex and the heat on his face, Jace looked like an abandoned kitten. He didn't have to answer. Jace trailed his long fingers down Alec's cheek, before shoving his parabatai aside.

"Make room, make room, you whiner." Alec held back his grin and settled in beside Jace, who seemed content to play with Alec's hands the whole time. Alec was okay with that. He knew Clary would come back, and break Jace's heart all over again. And when it happened, he'd be here for the fallout.


End file.
